i do it every time

i'm doing it again. everytime i get something good going for me its like i make a conscious decision to fuck myself over and ruin every chance of things working out. as i write this now, i'm doing it. when i decide not to go to school today its going to be because i've already convinced myself that i've made too many mistakes and i can't fix it. that might not be true, theres a chance i could salvage it. but guess what, i suck.